Just A Quick Note From A Single Gal To All The Guys Out There....

Ahem.

How are you all doing out there on the fruited plain?  Recovered from the Christmas season?  Good.

Well, I just thought I'd stir up a hornet's nest and do a post on the domestic habits of men vs. women.  I realize that as a single gal who will accept a man if God drops one in her lap, I cannot offer relationship advice.  However, being an adult and living with family members who happen to be men, a few differences in the way we operate have started to grate.  As in, this sister, daughter, and aunt has to stop herself from screaming like a fishwife as her mother and sisters-in-law do when this crap happens.  And you guys out there can't tell me every woman who has lived with men hasn't had similar or exactly the same complaints.

To Wit:

• Cabinet doors do not close themselves. If you open one, please see to the safety of everyone else and close it once you have retrieved the item you sought.
• We thank you for not tracking debris into the house on the souls of your shoes.  However, taking off shoes three feet inside the front door and leaving them there is a tripping hazard.
• Not all cleaning tools have a motor.  Brooms, dustcloths and scrub rags dipped in hot vinegar water are perfectly good for the purpose of picking up dust in the house.  Oh, and the filter and dirt chamber of your beloved vacuum cleaner needs to be emptied on a regular basis to avoid killing the motor.
• Thank you for being manly and taking out the trash.  However, the garbage pail does not actually need to be overflowing before the bag is changed.
• A few vegetables included in your crouton, shredded cheddar and ranch dressing salad might be a good idea.
• When sequestered in the bathroom or water closet for elimination purposes, sound effects are really not needed.  (Yes, we can hear you.  By the way, since you like to play with fire, please light a match and freshen the air for the women who come behind.)
• Ladies actually do like to watch their shows on the flat screen.  Please, change the channel BACK to what the ladies were watching before you came in and turned on the ballgame, Seinfeld, or Phineas and Ferb rather than turning the whole thing off when you leave.
• When heating a pizza, or just about anything else pre-packaged, the times listed on the instructions are general guidelines.  You actually have to keep an eye on the food while it is in the oven to be sure it's not overdone or undercooked.  If the cheese in the middle of the pizza is not melted, it's not done.  Leave it in the oven a little longer.
• Please, check your pockets before putting laundry in the hamper, or you will surrender that twenty the laundry mistress found in the washer.  All tissues need to be properly removed before washing.
• If you can't see it, it's still probably dirty.  This is why spring cleaning includes moving the furniture.
• And...and this cannot be stressed enough...duct tape is a TEMPORARY FIX.  If the stuff has been part of the repair for more than three years, it's time to call a professional.

Please, understand that this writer really does not want to throw oil on a gasoline fire when it comes to this, but after thoroughly cleaning the house before the holidays and then having to go back and do it all over again - in addition to closing cabinet doors EVERY BLASTED TIME I'm in the kitchen - this just needed to be said.

That is all.

Happy New Year.